Performance appraisal time at SpinCorp saw CEO Kevin Spin hit every one of the tough, demanding targets for short and long-term performance set by the board. Despite the challenging times in which corporate America now operates, the SpinCorp Remuneration Committee – after restrained lobbying by CEO Spin, had absolutely no hesitation whatsoever in agreeing to his request for an upgraded company car. The Hummerzine – already nicknamed the “Spin-mobile” by company workers, is equipped with an executive wave pool and on board fine wine conditioning in addition to the standard advanced communications and sound system packages.
Spin couldn’t wait to give his new corporate toy a tough workout in the harsh Arctic conditions of northern Norway. The first leg took the Spin-mobile by chartered military Boeing 747 to Denmark and thence by ferry to Oslo where final preparations were made, a selection of vintage wines from the senator’s European cellar were loaded, the pool filled with waters from the Dead Sea and – last but definitely not least, CEO Spin himself who flew in at the last minute in the SpinCorp executive jet.
Kevin Spin is an experienced trekker and was eager to explore some of the Norwegian trails in person; what the Spin-mobile couldn’t handle was easily managed with the aid of the Norwegian Navy’s NH90 helicopter that provided general airspace security during the senator’s visit.
Ever eager to engage with the locals, Spin was reported to have instructed his personal chauffeur to lower the rear windows when driving through towns so that the senator could exchange pleasantries with passing citizens for the general improvement of mutual understanding. Many of these exchanges proved highly emotional with much wild gesticulation and arm-waving but quite what the Norwegians were wishing the visiting senator were lost in translation as his limousine picked up speed to avoid any unscheduled diplomatic incidents.
In a final press statement, the SpinCorp spokesperson commented that Mr Spin was very satisfied with all aspects of the vehicle’s performance, the Norwegian people had proved delightfully frank and direct in expressing their appreciation of his visit and he was returning home relaxed and refreshed by the combined effects of the bracing Arctic air and locally-produced akevitt.
Carol Roll, Transport and Wine correspondent for The Dependent, Norway.
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